All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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