naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
