if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
