He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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