Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
