I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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