And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
