He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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