covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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