Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
