med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
