Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
