member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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