it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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