is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
