I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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