Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
