did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
