could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
