I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
