Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
