Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
