so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
