Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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