Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
