I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
