I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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