Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
