So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
