how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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