is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Boobs are out for the taking
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
