Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
