Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
