I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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