I got chris browned last night
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize