No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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