My room smells like vodka and shame
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
