im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
