Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry El_Boosh hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.

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(310): View more from California

She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???

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(513): View more from Ohio

Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??

(901): View more from Tennessee

This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said

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