my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
