why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
