No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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