you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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