Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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