everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
