I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
