Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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