My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
