The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
where am i from again
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
