Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
